For as long as I can remember I’ve always been obsessed with transformation…
I think it all started with The Little Mermaid (obvs my favorite childhood movie) and from an early age I locked on to the idea that if you wanted something bad enough, you could make it happen and you could create the life you wanted. So naturally I grew up thinking I was invincible and could do (or make)* anything. Now luckily for Ariel, her dad was a magic king but for the rest of us, it’s a little bit trickier…
I’ve always done “well” in life. I went to the “good college”, got a design degree AND a business degree, got the post grad “good job” at one of the top Fortune 500 corporate retailers in the country, always had a cute guy on my arm. On paper my life looked pretty perfect... on paper. On the inside however, I never really felt at ease. I felt restless. Always. Could never sit still, always “had” to be doing something. I could never just BE. I thought those people that had the “happy gene” who could just be happy all the time and for no reason were either liars or freaks of nature. I accepted that I wasn’t one of them and that on average feeling at an 80% happiness level was as good as it was going to get for me... I mean 80% is good, right? That’s like a B- 😳 Yeah... the little girl in me who “thought she could do anything” wasn’t happy with a B- either. So she was pissed off, like aaallll the time.
*Creativity has always in my blood and designing/making things that didn’t exist or couldn’t be bought is my specialty. It was something I could always count on to send my dopamine levels through the roof! When I’m creating something I am completely in my element an in tune with what what joy feels like, I am truly free.
However, the frequency of these types of projects were limited and usually only reserved for special occasions like VIP birthdays, Christmas gifts, the occasional theme party and of coarse Halloween! It wasn’t until my first “grown up” apartment, where I had full design control (thanks TD) that I was able to really unleash my furniture design capabilities.
Luckily for me, my grandmother (who I inherited my excellent taste and sense of style from) had been “accumulating” (cough; hoarding) quite a number of antiques over the years and had a basement full of potential. They were in need of a little TLC as they were projects she planned to work on herself one day (she’d actually taken courses on furniture restoration back in the day) but after a little negotiating they became my blank canvases! The vision I had for these pieces was a little bit different then your typical furniture restoration… Seeing past the out dated finishes/obvious wear & tear and visualizing them in a modern finish to match their new home I was able to transform them into a completely new style! Giving them a refreshed, modern look while also accentuating the details and the beauty of their original hand carved design. I was in heaven!
This experience, combined with my first ever trip to Brimfield (the Disney World equivalent of flea markets and my own personal version of the greatest place on earth) ignited a fire in me that made me feel more alive than the rest of my life up to that point (this maybe a slight exaggeration but you get what I mean).
Growing tired of my 10-year residency in the corporate world and increasingly restless in my life I thought if I could make a career out of transforming old, outdated furniture into new, refreshed pieces of “Furniture Artistry” that would be the key to the happiness kingdom... so I decided to go rogue. Ironically, starting my own business of transforming furniture ultimately lead to transforming my entire life.
The 2 years that followed this decision have been the most amazing, scary, thrilling, horrifying and miraculous experience I could have ever imagined! Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart, let me tell you! This journey of starting my own business aka “how to survive while doing something you love” (and not losing your sanity in the process) has brought me down a path of self-discovery that I can only describe as a gift.
It has forced me to confront my demons (who seem to multiply, just as I knock one down, one more pops up) and to dig down deep to find out what I’m really made of. From inhaling books on habit change, mastering mindset, self-love & acceptance to completely changing my diet & how I fuel my body, quitting smoking (yup, putting that out there... sorry family 😳) and instilling a daily yoga and meditation practice.
It’s become about waaaaay more than redesigning furniture or building a business. It’s become about freeing myself from limiting beliefs, overcoming fears and self-doubts (that I didn’t even know I had). Most importantly it’s become about learning how to trust intuition, trust the Universe, to follow the voice of my soul and live my truth. “Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you, it will only burn what you are not.” -Mooji
If you think this is the part where I tell you I’ve come to the end of the yellow brick road, concurred all and everything is all rainbows and unicorns… sorry to disappoint. By NO means do I have it all figured out, not even close. I actually don’t think the battle in your mind is something you ever “win” I think it’s more of a practice really, the more one practices the easier it gets (hopefully?) but it must be a consistent discipline.
Now at this point that voice in my head is pretty much screaming “why am I telling you all of this? And isn’t this supposed to be a furniture blog anyway? Nobody cares about your little self-help journey and blah blah, blah...” which I precisely why I am sharing all of this. Being vulnerable and putting myself out there is absolutely petrifying for me.... (especially in written form; I’d take visuals over words any day!) Putting all this down on paper and actually posting it for the world to see is something I’ve been dragging my feet on for the better part of a year… so in the spirit of practice (and not letting fear drive) I would like to invite you to come with me on my journey of learning how to be myself as I follow what brings me joy! #followthejoy
ME-1, FEAR-0
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